New Hampshire in the Morning

81 minutes down the drain
81 minutes down the drain

M – I don’t get it. A new survey from Travelodge says men spend more time “getting ready” to go out than women do. Survey says: Guys take 81 minutes to shave, shower, preen, look for a clean lufa, pick clothes and gel their hair. Women, who are genetically wired to do this stuff spend a mere 75 minutes to look purdy for us dudes. Since I spend no more than 20 minutes doing this vanity drill, my reputation as a metrosexual may very well be on the line. Please don’t tell my bud Carson Kressley that I’m dragging the average down. Even if Heather Locklear was on my dance card, I doubt I’d push my grooming prep time to 30 minutes. Add flossing and a shoe shine and we might get to 36 minutes. What are these other guys doing with an extra 45 minutes that I don’t need? Are they sewing their own single-stitch Italian shirts? Waxing their unibrows? I will not be pressured by this Travelodge survey to waste more time than I need, to look like Mr. Cool. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an appointment for my dermabrastion and pedicure.

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