New Hampshire in the Morning

Chipping away at health nuts

M – The nutrition nazis are at it again. Saw a report a few days ago telling us that the number one food responsible for weight gain in our lifetimes is potato chips. Well, I have news for all my healthy-eating friends. Do not try to grab the bag of Cape Cod jalapeno chips from my cold icy grip after I die. Please respect the dead and bury those bad boys with me. And if potato chips are so bad for us, why hasn’t anyone sued Frito Lay for contributing to the death of a minor? Can’t you see it already…on the side of a bag of Miss Vicky’s sea salt chips? “The Surgeon General has determined that eating potato chips is hazardous to your health.”  I’d rather eat potato chips and die at 80 (if I’m lucky) than eat tofu treats and live to be 100.  In the grand scheme of the time/life continuum,  our lives are but a blip on the screen. We’ll be dead way longer than we’re alive, so I say, bring me a wheelbarrow of Cape Cod chips and a margarita. Today is the first day of the rest of my life, which will be filled with family, good friends and eat-til-you-drop potato chips.

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