M – I’ve been traumatized again. I’ve been asked to make too many choices. 

It’s time again to get new glasses. I have been putting it off  because it’s just too painful to pick the style of frames I want. An eye glasses store is where people go when they have a week with nothing else to do. Instead of going to the beach, they spend days trying on glasses.

 

I actually asked the eye wear associate assisting me to please help someone else while I browsed because her presence added too much pressure to my clear case of terminal indecision. Why can’t we just have 2 choices, Drew Carey or John Lennon-style glasses?

 

I hate choices.

 

Now, I’m beginning to panic. I’m about a week away from needing to order new checks. Have you seen the insane collections of custom checks? Who’s going take a middle age cat (me) seriously when he pays for a manly set of socket wrenches at Sears with a Sponge Bob Square Pants personal check? I’d consider getting some Elvis checks, but I refuse to contribute to his estate. The guy makes about 50 million dollars a year more than me and he’s been dead for over 30 years.

 

Choices are killing me.

 

As much as I love cable TV, Bruce Springsteen almost had it right with his 90s hit, “57 Channels (and there’s nothing on).” Today it’s more like “357 Channels (and there’s only Time Life commercials on).”

 

Anyone remember these Lovin’ Spoonful lyrics from the mid 60s hit Did You Ever Have to Make Up Your Mind?

 

“Sometimes you really dig a girl the moment you kiss her

And then you get distracted by her older sister

When in walks her father and takes you a line

And says, ‘You better go home, son, and make up your mind.’”

 

I’ve made up my mind, Dad. I’m picking the girl who’s not wearing Drew Carey glasses.